Volunteer Spotlight: Ray Pryor

For Ray Pryor, not volunteering with the Gathering was never an option. Ray has always been a hard worker and prides himself on his ethic and work commitment. As long as Ray eats meals at the Gathering, he will volunteer his time, energy and expertise to give back.

Ray and regular UWM volunteer Elena pause after a busy breakfast meal

Ray was laid off. Once his unemployment ran out, he struggled to keep his head above water while dealing with homelessness. In order to stay busy, Ray has volunteered with the Gathering’s breakfast program Monday-Friday for almost a year.

“[Volunteering] gave me something to do ‘cause I just got laid off. I didn’t feel like I just wanted to walk around all day not doing anything, so this gave me something to do in the morning. I come every day. Every day. Most of the time it does take my mind off of a lot of stuff. So, it’s good for now. I appreciate the people. Networking and stuff. Cause y’all do get a lot of really good volunteers that are really nice.”

Aside from volunteering, Ray spends a lot of time on the job hunt, making phone calls, doing research and applying for various positions. Over the past 20 years he has held jobs in Waukesha, Portage, the Dells and Milwaukee.

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Despite his work ethic and commitment, Ray explained that, “karma gets bad and you end up back where you started.”

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For those of us who have not experienced homelessness, getting laid off and ending up on the streets may seem impossible. Ray demonstrates that because of globalization and the job market, it is not as distant as you think.

“You work for a job for 16 years. Then the company decides, we’re giving you employees too much money and we’re paying the state too much money. We’re gonna move down to Mexico. And you’re like 45 … 48 … now you try to get another job before your unemployment runs out, but a lot of companies they want the young kids and stuff like that, they’re looking at your age. So you study, you’re knocking on doors, all of a sudden, unemployment runs out, you can’t get an extension, you lose everything. So you’re stuck, out here, in the middle of winter and hoping that there’s an old folks site that they will let you go to and get out of the cold. Now I gotta get off the cotton-pickin’ streets before winter time comes because if I don’t, I’m sleeping outside until the temperature is so unbearable that they will let me in because they got an overflow site.”

Thankfully, Ray is hard-working and focused. He is able to stay strong and positive to set his mind on volunteering at many different places, applying for jobs, and surrounding himself with positive friends and people who support him.

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“You have to keep your head on straight. Cause if you don’t you end up out here for 20 or 30 years and wonder what happened to your life.”

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The Gathering helps him be positive and focused. He feels comfortable and supported at the Gathering.

“I like it over here [at the St. James’ breakfast site]. I really do. See, I used to come here back in the 80s before I started working again. I didn’t volunteer then but I had a buddy that worked here. And … I like it here for the simple reason that from the first time I started coming over here until now, don’t matter who they have running it or who they have working it - they always have the same mentality that they had back then. And that mentality is to treat people with dignity and remind them that they’re not an animal and that things get better. When you treat people with respect, and stuff like that, they tend to not think that they know better than anybody else. We’re all the same, Everybody goes through certain things. That’s the way it was back then and it still holds true to now.”

It is the dedication and strong example of guest volunteers that keeps the Gathering focused on promoting dignity and respect. It is the consistent commitment of all volunteers that keeps the Gathering’s mission alive. And, in the end, it is individuals like Ray who set an example for others experiencing hardship. This network of individuals makes ending hunger and homelessness a real possibility.

Stephanie’s Story

Stephanie (center) and fellow volunteers in the serving line

Stephanie Momon has experienced homelessness, survived two debilitating car accidents, fought off breast cancer and watched her mom suffer from dementia. You might expect someone with that life experience to be cynical or bitter. Instead, Stephanie has earned an Associate’s Degree in Social Services from MATC, a Bachelors in Science from Springfield and is currently working on her Masters with a concentration on mental health so she can focus her life on helping others. She spends her free time volunteering with the Gathering.

In December, Stephanie shared her amazing life journey with me.

“Well, in the 80s I was homeless. I would come here [to the Gathering] and eat breakfast so I was already aware of it. And then in the spring my Mom and I just started coming down here. She wasn’t eating good and I wanted her to eat a well balanced meal, so we would come down here and eat breakfast. In the fall, she gradually developed dementia. My Dad is her caregiver and thought she shouldn’t come down here no more so I decided to start volunteering in October.”

Stephanie has held every volunteer position imaginable at the Gathering’s breakfast program.

“Oh, I’ve volunteered behind the table, gave out juice and desserts, clean and wipe the tables, clean up, and I also worked in the kitchen. I refill and hand out milk in the pitchers and I basically just do whatever is needed. On one occasion when I was volunteering, a guest asked me for some extra dessert and I gave it to him. He said ‘thank you’. It gave me a big smile on my face and that good internal feeling.”

She discussed her many obstacles in life and how they instilled a commitment to service for others within her.

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001. I didn’t know anything about breast cancer. I became depressed and wanted to give up and die, but my Mom was by my side throughout most of my treatments. She would tell me, “You can do all things in Christ who strengthens you.” I believe that’s what got me through it. I went through 4 months of chemo, lost all my hair. I was bald as a new born baby. Went through 7 weeks of radiation and then I was on 2 pills a day for 5 years. Then I was hit by a drunk driver in 2008. I flew up in the air and came down. I was lying in the street, my left arm was turned backwards. I was in Froedtert Hospital a week. I had two options: either I could have surgery (the doctor couldn’t guarantee me my arm would be the same as it was) or I could let it heal on its own in a sling. I decided to let it heal on its own and I couldn’t use my arm. I stayed with my Mom for a week. My Mom took good care of me, fed me, washed me up, she was so good to me!”

Throughout her whole life, Stephanie and her mother have been close. Stephanie talked about a strong network of family and friends, including her long-term boyfriend. Stephanie explained they have a, "deep trust, commitment, and love for each other." She explains that her boyfriend and her mother pulled her through a lot of hardships and their love and family bond keeps her going.

“In 1981, I was driving my car on the highway, on the street, it was icy and slippery - it was January. My car ran off the road into a telephone pole and my head went through the windshield. I was in a coma for a few months. One occasion I could feel some pressure on my hands. I opened my eyes and my mom was squeezing my hand and she shouted, ‘Praise the Lord! My baby’s back!’ I was diagnosed with a head injury. I couldn’t read, write, walk or talk.”

After months of rehabilitation, Stephanie is now able to do all of those tasks and more. She has been employed by Summerfest, State Fair, JC Penney’s, Boston Store, the Census Bureau and been a security person, until she took a hiatus to finish up her Master’s Degree. 

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When asked what the Gathering means to her, Stephanie explained, “It’s a place where individuals can come, sit down, eat a good meal, enjoy themselves, fellowship with each other and just have a nice time; be thankful and grateful for those they know and those they care for and to just be with each other.”

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Merry Christmas from Stephanie

Over this past Christmas season, Stephanie invested in Santa hats for all the volunteers to wear. She did it simply because she wanted, “everyone to get in the Christmas spirit.” We are grateful for her spirit, her dedication to the Gathering and a life of service, her big smile and her story. Stephanie, your resiliency is a truly inspiring example to all of us.

Real Talk with Robert

After helping serve a breakfast of pancakes, bacon, coffee and bakery products, Robert Harrell, a guest volunteer with the Gathering, took some time to chat with me about his experiences with volunteering, homelessness and much more.

Robert started volunteering during his 2 year-long struggle with homelessness. He was encouraged to stick around with the Gathering because he was such a hard worker and dedicated volunteer. Today, he has been volunteering for three years, almost five days a week, and has become a valuable asset to the Gathering’s breakfast program.

Robert is often seen volunteering on the floor at the breakfast meal. He helps by assisting guests while they eat, but he doesn’t work on the floor just to refill coffee—he spends tons of time checking in with guests and greeting familiar faces. For many Gathering guests, Robert has become somewhat of a mentor. He is frequently seen sharing his story, listening and giving advice to others.

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“A lot of people don’t understand how homelessness is. People don’t know how hard it is. You can lose your job, all your money, just like that, it happens,” Robert explained. “I used to be homeless just like the guests. I feel like I need to give something back because I understand what its like.”

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During Robert’s two years of homelessness, he dealt with a lot of negative attitudes and people judging him because of his appearance or situation.

“When you’re homeless, people call you a ‘bum’ but you can’t say stuff like that. You don’t know what that person has gone through. So, now, when somebody asks me something I try to give them an answer. A lot of people tell me thanks…thanks for listening or thanks for the advice. Just the simple conversation can be helpful and makes people happier.”

Robert prides himself on being a loyal friend and a good listener. His attitude perfectly reflects the Gathering’s mission to provide meals with respect and dignity. Robert understands that no matter what your situation may be, a little bit of warmth, compassion and a listening ear can actually make a difference.

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“People come with a certain attire, or maybe a bad odor, or certain mannerisms that don’t make sense. But you can’t look at people like they are lesser than you because of the way they look. I never look at people like that. You don’t know what that person has been through. Some people have been awake all night long, or slept outside, or are dealing with something serious.”

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Regardless of what people are going through, the Gathering works to promote an open environment where guests can get not only a meal, but also the respect and dignity they deserve. It is individuals like Robert that help make this mission a reality. So remember, no matter who you are or where you are coming from, the Gathering—and Robert—welcomes you!

People that make The Gathering: Moses Cook

by Laura Luttrell

Moses Cook work as Security for the Gathering, but he was a guest first.

“I get up every morning whether I want to or not and I go down to the Gathering. I want to be there for anyone who needs me. There is no greater joy than to see them go in and come out and they're clean and they're doing well. They're happy. I don't judge them because to me everyone is going to start the race but everyone's not going to finish at the same time."

Moses Cook came to Milwaukee when he was 17. After his first daughter was born, he knew he was going to stick around. In some ways, he was happy with his life: he had a job making good money and he had two daughters, but he was also heavy into drugs and alcohol, causing major difficulties throughout his life. He lived this way for 20 years, until a near death experience caused him to reassess his life. He reflected about his friends who had died. He thought about how his family didn’t like being around him. He wanted out.

He quit his job and checked himself into the Rescue Mission shelter. He refused to let himself even step outside for a full 30 days. Moses didn’t want to go into a treatment center because “they keep you from the temptation” and he wanted to know he could keep himself from it. He experienced terrible withdrawal, but he made it through. He was on a new path.

Afterward, Moses returned to eating breakfasts and volunteering at the Gathering breakfast meal program. It was a place he found hope. Seeing his dedication, the Gathering offered him a job working security. Ten years have passed and Moses believes it is exactly where he needs to be. He views his role as much more than keeping everyone well-behaved; he understands the guests and wants to support them.

When Moses was still using, there was a woman from the Gathering, “Mama Jo,” who never gave up on him, no matter how badly he messed up. She told him to “dust yourself off and start again.” He listened.

Now Moses has taken up her position.  He does what he can to be a bright light in the lives he touches: “A word of encouragement to make them laugh... whatever it takes to put them in a happy spirit – because they may not get that any place else… if I can bring a little joy to their life, that little spark of joy may sustain them through the day and they have a good day.”

One day a guest came to Moses and gave him $400 and asked him to hold it so he wouldn’t be tempted to spend it on drugs. The guest said “I’m goin’ in [to drug rehab]. If you deem it necessary for my daughter or anyone to know where I am, you can tell them.” Moses recalled, “About nine months later, he came back, clean and engaged to be married. He was surprised I still had the money. I remember a day when a guy wouldn’t give me fifteen cents to hold for him. It made me feel so good this guy entrusted me, [with] what he was doing, and his money. That took me a long way... That was the biggest success for me.”

Moses is grateful for his life now. “Once you clean up, caring about people comes back,” he says. He has a good relationship with his family now. Moses said, “I will never lose my peace. I’m not going backward. It’s been over 15 years.” He wants to help others get to this point too. “If I got it, I give it because it was always given to me... You pass it on to the next that need it...If I can help one person a day, I’m good.” The way he sees it, “The meal is just a small part of the Gathering. It’s hope... worthiness... appreciation of the people. The Gathering never gave up on me… and here I am.”

People that make The Gathering: Cary Gibson

by Laura Luttrell

"I'm blessed with what I've got now. I thank God everyday. I mean when you're out there and then this! I feel like I’m living a movie star life – I’ve got heat, I’ve got a TV - I watched the Packers yesterday. I have food in my fridge. Everything I would want. You're real grateful, am I right?"

Imagine yourself without a home for 20 days. You’ve exhausted your options of staying with family and friends and now you are living on the street. I’ve tried to imagine this and I can’t. I don’t understand the challenges I would face. It’s easy to think about Milwaukee’s many blustery below freezing winter nights, but somehow finding a blanket doesn’t seem like enough.

When I spoke with Cary Gibson, the cook for the Gathering’s breakfast meal program, I started to understand. He lived on the street not for 20 days, but for 20 years. Cary said that in order to help keep warm, he would hide 3 blankets. The first one would inevitably be stolen while he was trying to sleep and then he would go to the hiding places of the others, hoping that at least one of them would still be there. He counted himself lucky if the thief only took his possessions. He has been attacked while trying to sleep many times… usually by another person coping with a situation similar to his; other times the attackers were four-legged threats.

By the railroad tracks, there are skunks to avoid. Elsewhere, you have to listen for and steer clear of coyotes. The hardest to deal with are the raccoons and other rodents.  They are smart and some have rabies.

They’ll climb all over you, especially if they smell food. Then, there are the domesticated varieties. People used to let loose their pit bulls along the river where Cary had been staying; he climbed into a thicket of thorns (where even the pit bulls wouldn’t go) to avoid them. With all this, a good night’s sleep isn’t an option. Then there is the challenge of hygiene. How can you bathe, shave, or brush your teeth? Cary said he had to wash different parts of his body each place he went - taking pigeon baths, he called it.

Cary had a hard life growing up, but he made the best of it. He tried to hold his family together by cooking, cleaning, and raising his younger siblings, but when he turned 17, he set out on his own. Although he struggled with alcoholism, he had a job and a place of his own for 14 years. That life ended when a bout of pneumonia put him in the hospital and he lost his job and eventually his home.

Living on the street, Cary really valued the big hot meal that the Gathering served in the mornings. He burned a lot of calories living outside. By the time he got there, he’d already walked 5 miles. He ate breakfasts at the Gathering for about 8 years and then he started volunteering. During that time, Cary also went into transitional housing and stopped drinking alcohol.

After 5 or 6 months of volunteering, the Gathering recognized the hard work and integrity that Cary exhibited and hired him as the breakfast cook. Having this part-time job has been an important motivator for Cary. He said that working again gives him a “sense of fulfillment...

There’s a certain feeling you get when you accomplish a goal like working – doing something positive, that’s what The Gathering is to me... The Gathering helps people in so many ways.

You can get a little direction – help with your problems, find the door to help you with what you need. That’s what’s special about the Gathering: it’s more than just the meal and some place warm.”

Cary has been in his own home for almost a year and now that he is back on his feet, he’s excited about the new road ahead of him. “The Gathering is just one of many steps I hope to take on my road to success.” He saved up two months rent to get ahead of schedule and he is excited to be paying rent and preparing taxes again!

There’s another thing about Cary that left me speechless. Imagine you were homeless for 20 years and after you finally got back in housing, you got a part-time job and you’ve been getting a paycheck for about 2 months. What would you do with this little extra money you have now? Get yourself something? Go to the casino? Cary started sponsoring a little girl in Indonesia. He’s been sponsoring her now for 10 months because he feels that there are a lot of people out there who need help.